What is endurance? Is it determined self-will? Is it
a disciplined attitude, a high threshold for pain, or just a forced result when
we can't change our circumstances?
In Romans 5:3-4, Paul tells us that we are to, “Rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that
suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character
produces hope.”
Suffering surfaces in different ways throughout our
lives- the death of a loved one, losing a job, overwhelming stress, financial
problems, sickness, heart break, depression, tragedy, natural disaster,
violence, uncured illness, divorce...the list is endless. And when we are profoundly suffering, it
feels like we are trapped in a deep pit of despair. There is no way out but up, and we usually
don’t even have a toothpick to start climbing our way out with. In these profound moments, we want to doubt
God is present or near to us. It is hard
to believe that He sees our pain, or that He has compassion for us. However, we can rest with quiet hearts,
knowing that our suffering is never invisible to the One who, “Works all things together for the good of
those who love Him,” (Romans 8:28). We may be suffering in absolute misery,
but God hasn’t left us because GOD DOESN’T RETREAT BEFORE ANYTHING.
God doesn’t give up. He doesn’t make mistakes. You
can’t surprise him with your sin. He
will never need reinforcements. He is
not going to require a plan B. He is all
powerful and sovereign over all things.
He sees your deepest flaws and he is ferociously committed to loving you
at the same time. He isn’t holding out
for a better version of you- you 2.0. He
doesn’t need you to take six months to “really get yourself together” so he can
tolerate and put up with you. He is KING OF ALL THINGS RIGHT NOW AND HE NEVER
QUITS- “A lion doesn’t retreat before
anything,” (Proverbs 30:30).
Extreme suffering can lead us to feel extreme
things- extreme hurt, extreme pain, extreme confusion. When our emotions and circumstances are
overwhelming us, it can be almost impossible to keep our eyes on God. We question everything, especially ourselves. In the hardest of times I have asked myself:
“Am I really God’s child? I must have done something bad to deserve this. How
did I lose favor with God? Is there some sin that I never confessed to, or
asked forgiveness for?”
In Luke 13:10-17, Jesus healed a woman who had
suffered extremely for eighteen years. A "crooked woman”- a woman who knew
a whole more lot about suffering than me.
The "crooked woman” was called "crooked" because she was demon-possessed, and her entire body
was “bent over double and she could not
straighten up at all.” Her back was
broken completely in half and her spine was permanently fused into its broken
position. She was “bowed together.” The crooked
woman was broken beyond repair. She had
felt invisible and unacknowledged in her pain for almost two decades, and was
of little worth when measured by the world’s standards. She was constantly tormented by the demon
spirits which possessed her- she had no cure, no value, no hope.
Our hope tends to be defined by what we know or what
we believe is actually possible. We like
to set our expectations where they appear realistic because it makes our lives
feel less disappointing. We don’t want
to feel let down when we miss out on something we wanted. For the crooked woman, she wanted relief and
healing but there was no medicine powerful enough to help her. We have to remember that God is working best
when we see nothing but darkness. His strength is perfected in our weaknesses.
“We suffer with Him in order that we may
also be glorified with Him,” (Romans 8:16).
The crooked woman lived in weakness and
darkness. Her perspective was limited to
the dirt at her feet. She could not lift her head up, and was incapable of
looking anyone in the eye. But, Luke
says that, “Jesus saw her,” (Luke
13:12 {NLT}). There is something
powerful about being seen. There is
something valuable about being looked in the eye. When someone doesn't acknowledge you, you
feel invisible. The crooked woman was
not invisible to Jesus. She doesn’t
approach him and ask him for healing either.
The word “see” when used here
meant that Jesus saw her physically with his eyesight, and that he was also
made aware of and could see her pain and suffering. Jesus saw her- and he didn't retreat. He
wasn't afraid of her eighteen year old demon.
He wasn't worried he couldn't handle her issues or her past. He saw her-
and he didn’t run the other direction.
He calls out to her, “Dear woman,” (Luke 13:12 {NLT}). He calls her “dear” before he addresses her as “woman.” First, He calls her
“dear” because this is her true
identity by his standard- his cherished, precious daughter. She is very dear to Him, even if she isn’t
dear to anyone else. Jesus identifies
her secondly as it relates to her identity within the synagogue and her
community. He calls her “woman”- clearly distinguishing she was
female and therefore not allowed to be healed on the Sabbath according to
Jewish law. We are limited, but God is
limitless.
Jesus doesn't hesitate to immediately heal her and
straighten out her brokenness. “Woman,
you are free of your disability,” (Luke 13:12 {HCSB)}. He bent down to her level, laid His hands on
her shoulders, and restored her instantly.
“You stand by faith,” (2
Corinthians 1:24). He tilted her face up
to his and STOOD HER UP STRAIGHT for the first time in nearly two decades. “Therefore
lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight
paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but
rather be healed,” {Hebrews 12:12-13 (ESV)}.
Although he has healed her physically, Jesus isn't
done restoring the crooked woman yet. He
wants total freedom for her. He is going
to straighten out any remaining brokenness inside of her. Any remnants of the evil one or his damage-
Jesus is going to wipe them away. At
this point in the story- the leaders of the synagogue are more than just a
little ticked off. Jesus has insulted
them, it was a clear violation of Levitical law for work (healing) to be done
on the Sabbath. {Isn’t that just like satan- to have someone question how
deserving you are of any good thing God could bless you with?}
Jesus rebukes them and tells them that if a donkey
(livestock) can be healed on the Sabbath, then surely a daughter of Abraham
must be allowed healing too. This is the
total restoration, “This dear woman, a
daughter of Abraham, has been held in bondage by Satan for eighteen years.
Isn’t it right that she be released, even on the Sabbath?” {(Luke 13:16
(NLT)}. Jesus calls her a “Daughter of Abraham,” The word “daughter” that is used here is defined
in the Greek as meaning, “acceptable to God, rejoicing in God’s peculiar care
and protection.” He takes particular
care to assure the formerly crooked woman of her inherent worth and value- she
is dear and precious- no matter what anyone else says. No matter who ignores her or won’t look her
in the eye- she is still seen. She matters. She is included in His family. She
will not be discarded or counted as worthless. She is His. “The crooked shall become straight, and the
rough places shall become level ways,” (Luke 3:5)
This story is very touching for me personally,
because my heart has walked through some suffering and I have felt some extreme
confusion amidst difficult circumstances.
In a season of life that consisted of suffering, God felt very far away
from me. I felt so lost and just wanted to
give in and believe I was too crooked to be loved by Him. No matter how I prayed, or what I did I could
not seem to re-create the comfort of His presence that had made me feel safe
for so long. It felt like the enemy was
winning and it made me question my identity in Christ at its very
foundation. At the lowest point, I sat
on the floor next to my bed in a crumpled ball and the only prayer I could get
out was one word, "Jesus." As
I wrestled with my pain, the Holy Spirit was praying the words that I wasn't
able to. "In the same way the Spirit also joins to help in our weakness, because
we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes
for us with unspoken groanings." {Romans 8:26 (HCSB)}.
A few days later as I sat in my quiet time (which
had become a lot more like silence), and I heard Him whisper these words to my
heart, "I am here with you. I never
left you. I was with you the whole time. I caught every single one of your
tears, I heard every one your painful sobs. You are my beloved, precious
daughter. You have always and you will
always be mine. No sin, no sickness, no circumstance, no mistake can separate
you from my love. You couldn't feel me because
I had you wrapped up in my arms so tightly. You couldn't see me because I had
you pressed against me so closely. I am ferociously committed to loving you,
and to making you feel secure in my love. Remember who you are through me. You
will never be worthless to me."
We are made in Christ’s image- we don’t retreat
before anything. We know that “all things
work together for our good” doesn’t necessarily mean for our good/happiness
on Earth. Our good is Him bringing us into his likeness, making us more lovely
as we become more and more like him. He is refining us and healing us through
fire- are we going to let our fires sanctify us or scar us? The fires- the suffering- are what is making
us more beautiful. The deepest suffering releases the strongest power, which
then produces the greatest joy. “For our momentary light affliction is
producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory,” (2
Corinthians 4:17) Suffering leads to
beauty. “He will give a crown of
beauty for ashes,” (Isaiah 61:3 {NLT}).
“Now in this hope we were saved,
yet hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if
we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience,”
(Romans 18:24-25).
Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not
show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different
nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands
in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son.
The cross was the proof of His love – that He gave that Son, that He let Him go
to Calvary’s cross, though “legions of angels” might have rescued Him. He will
not necessarily protect us - not from anything it takes to make us like His
Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go
into the process.”
Satan's lies tell me that I am weak, that I am
crooked, and I am bent- and that nobody will see me. If I let the enemy bend
my confidence and make my endurance crooked, I will lose some of my
strength…and I want to be anything but weak in my love for Jesus. “We are
pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are
perplexed, but we don't give up and quit,” {2 Corinthians 4:8 (NLT)}.
We can walk forward with hope and with eyes of
faith. We keep our eyes on Him so we can
set our hearts on HIM- the ultimate prize.
We remember we have a God who sees us, intimately knows us, has already
healed us, and wants us to rest in His everlasting arms (Deuteronomy 33:27).
Speaking of beauty, I was given the honor of taking pictures of one of the most beautiful women I know- one of my very best friends Allyson. She is going to Kenya with me this summer, and we couldn't be more excited! She is so beautiful, inside and out. I cannot wait to see the amazing things God has planned for her life!
