I am always drawn to a story of great courage. There is something about a story of bravery that
inspires us to a higher standard of strength. Fear can paralyze us, make us freeze up, and drive us to do some crazy
things to cover up our insecurities. Adam and Eve became ruled by their insecurities after the fall, “They knew they were naked; so they sewed
fig leaves together and…hid themselves from the Lord God,” (Genesis 3:7-8). Their insecurities passed on to their
children in Genesis 4:8, when their son Cain murders his brother Abel. When God asks Abel where his
brother Cain is, Abel responds, “I don’t
know,” (Genesis 4:9).
Similar to Abel, when I misbehaved as a child- I would straight up lie. My automatic go-to response, no matter how guilty I was would always be, “It wasn't me." I'd have one hand in the cookie jar and chocolate covering my face- but I wouldn't even wait for my mom to ask what happened. As soon as I would see her I would immediately say, "It wasn't me." I didn't want to get in trouble, so I hid. We tend to hide the parts of ourselves that we don’t want others to see, and we tend to hide from the things we don’t want to see ourselves. If hiding means we are fearful, then living fearlessly must mean stepping out even if we are afraid our hearts will get crushed.
That’s why I love John’s words, “Perfect love drives out all fear.” I believe that John was a man of great courage, and knew why perfect love drives out all fear. I think that what makes John a man of such bravery was his bold decision not to hide when Christ hung on the cross. John was the only disciple who remained at the cross while Jesus suffered and died. When everyone else bailed, John stayed.
He watched as the flesh was ripped from Jesus’ body. John heard the dropping of the hammer as it pounded the nails; the piercing sound of steel on steel. John watched the blood flow down the cross and cover the ground. He watched as soldiers gambled on the robe of Jesus, the very robe which the bleeding woman had crawled through the crowds to touch the hem of. Despite the horror, John stayed in faith. He didn't run away when things got painful. Although he was the youngest disciple and could have done the “safe thing”. Instead, he stayed by the side of Jesus which he had rested up against at the Last Supper, “One of His disciples, the one Jesus loved (John), was reclining against Jesus,” {John 13:23 (HCSB)}. John writes about love so much because he witnessed so much perfect love first hand.
John understood the weight of the command of Jesus, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me,” (Luke 9:23). It seems almost strange that the baby of the group would stay and watch the crucifixion when neither his own big brother (James), nor Simon Peter stayed. John didn't stay on the peripheral of the scene either, hiding like a wallflower. He was close enough to the cross that he could hear the Lord speak:
“When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple He loved standing there (as near as they could get), He said to His mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then He said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:26-27)
Jesus picks the
baby (the “younger brother”) to entrust with the care of his mother Mary. I can’t help but wonder if in this moment
that John must have rationalized that as this adoption was spoken by the great,
“I AM”- that if he was now the son of
Mary, then he was also the brother of Jesus.
“A real friend sticks closer than
a brother,” {(Proverbs 18:24 (NLT)}.
John is teaching us that real courage means walking forward in faith- regardless of the outcome. Our courage builds when we stand on God’s promises- instead of relying on what we think we can or can’t do. God’s main purpose for us is not what we do- it is who we become as we grow to reflect His character more and more. The definition of “bold” means “to dare to do, or to bear, something terrible or difficult.” The definition of “confidence” (“hupostasis”) means “a standing under, a foundation, a quality of confidence which leads one to stand under, endure, or undertake anything.” Do we have faith that we can undertake anything, and remain confident in Christ even when we, as Isaiah Austin says, “Air ball like crazy”?
What looks like unmistakable loss doesn't seem to be a victory, but neither did Jesus’ walk to the cross. Nothing fires me up to kick in the gates of hell quite like the mental image of Jesus buckling into the dirt beneath the weight of the cross he was carrying for me. “God has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong. God has chosen what is insignificant and despised in the world—what is viewed as nothing—to bring to nothing what is viewed as something,” {(1 Corinthians 1:27-28 (HCSB)}. Christ seemed weak to his enemies as he hung on the cross in what appeared to be defeat. The greatest courage in all history belongs to Jesus.
Christ’s love reminds us of the foolishness of confidence apart from him. Even if we have the faith we are supposed to have every single day, Jesus would still have to save us from our own pride. Without fail, you will miss what you are aiming for the second you take your eyes off your target. We will only reach our mark when we stay in tune with our goal, and in order to hit the target we have to stop fearfully fixating on what is coming against us. My dear friend Becca is running the Ironman Texas race this weekend- I told her that I was praying for her to have great strength and asked if she felt ready. Her response was, “Yes, I have to trust the training.” How different are we? We have to trust God’s training of our hearts. We can quit covering ourselves up with fig leaves because we can rest assured that we are covered by Jesus’ blood. John will go on to say in Revelation 1:5b, “To Him who loves us and has set us free from our sins by His blood.”
What is God’s love worth to us? I think the answer may lie in the amount of value we have for Christ’s blood. The more worthy His blood is to us, the more we display its worth by the way we live our lives. We can give great grace- because we have received great grace. We can love ferociously- because we are loved ferociously. My favorite theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer preached, “The boundless love of God toward us should be reflected in the manner by which we love one another- without reservation.” How amazing is that? God’s love moves toward us.
It takes awesome courage to allow ourselves to love extravagantly without knowing the end result. A gentle and quiet heart is necessary if we are to remain open to an undetermined outcome- even if we get crushed. Nothing has inspired me to move towards others in love as much as the quiet courage of the orphaned children I met in Kenya. Almost everyone told me I was crazy when I first started sharing that I wanted to go to Africa last year. They would give me hundreds of reasons why it was a bad idea- how dangerous it was, how unsafe it is, etc.- and all I could hear was the cries of hundreds of fatherless children who needed hope.
As it turned out, the very children I went to move my love towards were what provided the greatest protection once I got there. I was greatly humbled the afternoon that I walked a group of young girls through the slums towards their "sports" field. There were two other missionaries with me, a married couple- Megan and Adam. We formed a train, with me out front, Megan in the middle, and Adam in the back because he was the muscles of the operation and to make sure we didn't lose anybody. But trying to keep a bunch of girls between the ages of 5 and 13 together is like herding cats- they are all over the place! To make matters worse, I HAD NO IDEA WHERE WE WERE GOING. I was supposed to be remembering the directions Mama Mary gave me and making sure we got there, and at the same time- felt like the front line to any potential confrontation we encountered. The hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up as we made our way through tiny, trash lined gutters with the girls. We saw what I can only describe as absolute darkness. We walked past four year-olds mothering two year-olds. We walked past people fishing for their dinner out of the trash on the ground. We saw a lot of bare feet, and a lot of cardboard box built homes. As I went to take a big step over what I thought was a pile of broken fence, one of the smallest girls put her hand out to stop me, “No Maddy (they say my name “Maw-dee”),” and she pointed down to warn me, “Live wire.” I scooped her up in my arms and carried her the rest of the way. The little girl that I was supposed to be protecting ended up protecting me. "He called you out of darkness and into his marvelous light,"(1 Peter 2:9).
How much we value Christ’s redemption of our sins is a direct product (fruit) of how we reflect His love selflessly towards those around us who are most undeserving. As we move towards instead of shrinking back, we will see our love catch like fire as it lights up the darkness. Let us move toward one another in love, with confidence that Jesus’ suffering was enough for us and that His love extravagantly satisfies us. Let our lives show each other that we are sold out for the one who sold everything for us. Let the one whose love was strong make our love strong for Him.
“I
will save you, and you will be a blessing. Don't be afraid; let your hands be
strong.” (Zechariah 8:13b)
♥ In His Love,
Mad
P.S: I wanted to take a chance to update you on the status of the fundraising for my trip. I was definitely somewhat nervous this year when I signed up for the trip, the amount I needed was much bigger than what I needed last year. It turns out that my precious friends and family had courage for me when I didn't because God provided the full amount in NINE DAYS! I am still blown away by the your extravagant love. I cannot put into words how awesomely humbled and extremely grateful I am for your support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so excited you get to share in this journey and be a part of my trip too. I love you all so much!
I also wanted to let you know about my beautiful friend Megan who is fundraising for her mission trip to love on the fatherless in East China this summer! I had the chance to take some pictures of her last week, and several of you have asked if encourage you to donate to her trip. She has $1,900 left to raise, the link to donate is: <Megan's Donation Link>
